You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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