thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
