On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
