I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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