i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
