he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
