I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
