Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
