I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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