I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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