OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
