Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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