The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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