I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
