you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
