fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
