Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize