Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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