I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
