There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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