Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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