if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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