he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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