Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
