Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
