i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
