that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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