I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
