That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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