I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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