Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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