Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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