but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Bring me that man meat
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
