yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Two words: blizzard sex
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
