She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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