Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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