there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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