omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize