Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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