I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
