Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
