After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
it's like iHOP with fire
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
