I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize