I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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