i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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