Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize