there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
