forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
