So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
