i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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