Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
