So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
do nipples grow back?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
