i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
