I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
