i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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