sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
