I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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