He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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