the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize