PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
