their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
