She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize