Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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