I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
