god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
