I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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