Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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