bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
