are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
