yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize