i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
