Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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