i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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