Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
