Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
