I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
