I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
