Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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